Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Ups and Downs in Man-Town, USA

Dear Diary:

Today I got a raise! Sometimes I feel that people do not fully appreciate all of my tireless man-advice and man-effort and man-friendship, but at least my employer appreciates Jason the Man! (Part of being a man now is to respect the boundaries between work and my personal life, so I will only say that I work for a giant aerospace and defense corporation that rhymes exactly with "Boeing".)

To celebrate my raise I decided to meet up with a couple of my budsters for drinks after work! Budsters and the Man- a recipe for good times!

But uh oh! My "fast" (that is what I call my car) got a "flat" (that is what I call it when the air goes out of a tire). So before I could enjoy all of my new money, I had to take my fast in to get my tire fixed.

Instead of being a simple tire patch job like I had expected, the tire shop guys had to inform me that my sidewall was damaged and that I would need a whole new tire! "Okay," I said, "I guess I will have to rely on your professional opinion since I am only a maintenance program engineer for a giant aerospace and defense corporation that rhymes exactly with 'Boeing', and you are a professional tire-guy. I suppose I will have to purchase this new tire you recommend." Part of being a man now is to respect other people's expertise.

The new tire was $180!!!! Good thing I got that raise!

Before I left one of of the tire guys showed me what caused my expensive tire to flatten. It was the size of a nail but shaped like a tiny railroad spike! The tire guy informed me that he had never seen such a thing and that he was glad to have had the opportunity to experience this tiny railroad spike and take my $180.

Being a man now is all about being part of memorable experiences!

I told my budsters that I had a tiny railroad spike in my tire, and they said, "you mean a nail?" And then I said, "No, it was like a tiny railroad spike", and then they said, "that's what a nail is, dude," and then I wanted to punch them.

This is Jason the Man, signing off.

No comments: