Saturday, July 19, 2008

Guess who's getting older?

Dear Diary:

Yesterday was my birthday! Actually, my birthday was Tuesday, but yesterday was when I went out and had my birthday celebration! Whooaaa boy, did I drink a lot! All of my home-skillets were there, and we played some mini-golf in the afternoon and then went out to the bars for the evening!

Damn it feels good to be a Manster.

But guess what, diary? Guess who showed up drunk late at my birthday celebration? Give up? MY PARENTS!

Since I am a man now, I am naturally used to interacting with my parents in various states and configurations of intoxication, so I was not alarmed by these circumstances. And since my friends seem to like them, probably because my dad is always drunk and my mom always makes them delicious food, this seemed like a recipe for fun-filled family and friend festivities! (Guess who just looked up "alliteration"? I'll give you a hint: He's a man now. And his name rhymes with "Kason". And he is the author of this blog. And his name is Jason. Is that enough hints?)

But UH OH, Tragedy! My dad was already drunk, and since he didn't know what was going on, he reverted to "fall-back" mode, which is just making fun of me in front of all of my friends and any girls that were maybe around! Pretty soon this caught on and everybody else started making fun of me too! Then my mom took this opportunity of spousal distraction to go and hit on the bouncer guy with all of the tattoos and the big biceps! MOM! I don't want any much younger siblings with big biceps and tattoos, okay! If I did I would have put it on my birthday list that I sent you and you evidently didn't even look at because I did not get the fancy new fencing foil OR the bamboo tea serving tray OR the vintage airplane calendar that I asked for.

Sometimes being a man now is exasperating! But then I remember that being a man now means I have to learn to accept and handle new and embarrassing situations. And beer helps.

This is Jason the Man, signing off.

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